How to Write Authentic Dialogue in Picture Books

Writing dialogue for picture books is one of the trickiest—and most rewarding—parts of crafting a strong manuscript.

Good dialogue captures a character’s personality, moves the story forward, and helps the reader connect with the character. But when dialogue sounds inauthentic, it can throw off the rhythm of a read-aloud and disconnect the reader from your characters.

Let’s dive into the why behind what doesn’t work—and then explore techniques to help you write dialogue that feels true, natural, and alive.

❌ What Makes Picture Book Dialogue Feel Inauthentic?

1. The character is narrating their actions

Children don’t talk like stage directions—and neither should your characters. If your character says:

"Now I will climb up the ladder and grab the kite from the tree."

…you’ve lost the natural rhythm of conversation. This line is clearly there for the reader’s benefit—not something the character would say in real life.

✅ Try this instead:

“Hang on, kite! I’m coming!”

This version still lets us know what’s happening, but through a line that reflects urgency and emotion rather than exposition. Kids respond to energy and voice—not summaries.

2. The voice doesn’t match the child’s age

One of the most common mistakes new writers make is giving young characters dialogue that sounds too mature. A preschooler probably wouldn’t say:

“This could be a problem.”

…unless your character is intentionally precocious (and even then, it should be clear that this contrast is part of the humor or voice). Most kids express big feelings in simple words.

✅ Try this instead:

“Uh oh! This is BAD. Super bad!”

Here, you still get a strong emotional reaction, but in language that’s appropriate for a 4- or 5-year-old. Simplicity is not a weakness—it’s a tool.

3. Dialogue sounds too formal or old-fashioned

Unless your book is intentionally set in a historical or stylized world, kids should sound like modern kids. Avoid stilted or overly formal phrases like:

“Mother, may I go outside, please?”

✅ Try this instead:

“Mom! Can I go outside? Pleeeeease?”

Kids are conversational and informal. If your dialogue feels like it belongs in a Jane Austen novel, it probably needs to be rewritten for today’s audience.

4. All the characters sound the same

When each character uses the same tone, rhythm, and vocabulary, it becomes hard to distinguish who's speaking—and the story loses dimension. For example, in this exchange:

“We have to help the kitty get down from the tree.”

“But it’s so high!  What can we do?”

“I think I have an idea.  Come with me.”

There’s no variation in sentence structure or voice. It’s flat and forgettable.

✅ Try this instead:

“That cat needs our help!  Come on gang!”

“I dunno…it’s pretty high!” Sam said with a gulp.  “Maybe we should wait for Dad?”

“No time to wait!  I have a plan!” 

Now the characters feel distinct. There’s some humor, some attitude, and a sense of personality. Dialogue should reflect differences in how characters think, feel, and speak—even when they're close in age.

✅ How to Write Authentic Dialogue in Picture Books

So, how can you make sure your dialogue sounds authentic and engaging?  Here are five tips to help you take your dialogue from awkward to awesome. 

1. Establish a clear age and personality before you begin

Before writing dialogue, ask yourself:

• How old is this character?

• What’s their personality?

• How do they usually respond—do they lead or follow? Are they brave, silly, stubborn, shy?

Let’s say you’re writing a 6-year-old who is bossy and imaginative. Their lines might sound like:

“I’m the captain, and we’re going to space! No bathroom breaks!”

But a shy 6-year-old in the same scene might say:

“Can I just stay here and watch?”

Knowing your character deeply helps you write dialogue that only they could say.

2. Base your dialogue on a real kid

Choose a real child—someone you know or observe—who matches your character’s age and personality. What kind of phrases do they use? Do they ask a million questions? Do they make up words?

Let’s say you’re writing a curious toddler. They might say:

“Why's the moon so big?” 

“Is clouds soft?” 

“I’m not tired! My eyes are just sleepy.”

Real kids speak with quirks, mistakes, and unexpected poetry. Capture that magic.

3. Rewrite the same line as different characters

This is a great exercise when you're stuck or trying to create contrast. Take one scenario—like seeing a scary bug—and rewrite how different characters might respond:

The dramatic one: “AHHHHHHH! MONSTER IN THE KITCHEN!”

The curious one: “What kind of bug is that? Does it bite?”

The calm one: “Relax. It’s just a beetle. They’re good for the garden.”

The silly one: “Bugs, bugs, bugs in my spaghetti!”

Every line of dialogue is a chance to reveal something about your character. Don’t waste it with generic responses.

4. Read your dialogue out loud—and act it out

Picture books are meant to be read aloud. If your dialogue feels clunky or unnatural when you speak it, it’s not working yet.

Try this:

• Record yourself reading the manuscript.

• Watch kids’ reactions.

• Ask: Does this line make me stumble? Does it sound like something a kid would say? Does it match the emotion of the moment?

If something feels off, revise until it flows easily from your mouth—and captures the energy of the scene.

5. Spend time around kids (and listen closely)

There’s no substitute for the real thing. Listen at playgrounds, family events, classrooms, and birthday parties.

Kids:

• Use repetition.

• Invent words.

• Ask questions nonstop.

• Mangle grammar.

• Use sound effects and dramatic gestures.

For example:

“I can't find my shoes! They're gone forever. I bet the dog took them and now they’re on the moon.”

Is it logical? No. Is it authentic and fun? Absolutely.

🎯 Final Takeaway

Authentic picture book dialogue isn’t about being grammatically perfect or clever. It’s about giving your characters a voice that rings true to their age, personality, and the world they live in. When kids hear themselves—or their siblings or classmates—reflected in your story, it builds connection. And that’s what great picture books do.

So remember: Keep it real. Keep it kid. Keep it in character!